Over the years, I have been asked this question by a number of people. Some of the individuals were people I was training or individuals who desired to identify a mentor, either way they wanted to know.

The last person who said I should spend some thinking about this is my mentor, who I find to be exceptional in helping me on my journey. So I thought let me share some of the qualities I perceive make a great mentor:

1. Great experience:

Depending on why you want a mentor, will help you to identify what “type” of mentor” would be beneficial for you. However, when you have identified them it would make sense for them to have more experience than you.

I have coined a phrase which goes like this “a mentor’s hindsight, becomes a mentee’s foresight”, so to have a mentor who’s “hindsight” is pertinent and valuable to you is key. They must have insight of who you are and your desired / prospective future to be able to help to guide you into it.

2. Life & people skills:

Mentoring and coaching is different and how I summerise the difference is: mentoring is more holistic and person centred and coaching is more skill or disciplined centred. Both will overlap in some way, however they both have different focuses and I find mentoring to be more relational.

Mentoring on the whole is relationship based so it is good when you have a great and even warm relationship with your mentor. This helps because a lot of the reasons or challenges that are “really” hindering you may be i.e. personal, mindset, behavioural or spiritual etc. so if you cannot speak or share about the things that are really the problem, mentoring may not be effective.

For this reason, you must feel if you are going to share, it has to be worthwhile and not in vain so you must perceive your mentor has the people skills to support you.

3. Wisdom:

The reason you have a mentor or your desire to have a person supporting you in this capacity is because you have come to an understanding that you, your mind, or experience are not enough for you to access the next level of your potential or life. So having someone else to support your growth and journey is necessary.

I have found that a lot of mentoring is about helping to frame the same thing in a different or more wise way that is accessible and makes sense to the hearer. This takes a trained mind and takes wisdom. If your mentor does not add significant value to you or your perspective, why would you have them as your mentor?

4. Communication skills:

A mentor must be able to communicate well and has an understanding of how best you can access knowledge i.e. do they need to give you information in stories, examples, data or be straight to the point! This is essential in a mentor’s forte as they must be able to discern how to provide different aspects of truth to you.

5. Timing

One thing about a mentor is knowing the best way and time to share with you. The thing about having a mentor is, you are going to be challenged! So if you like comfort zones and don’t want to be challenged, don’t get one!

I have found this hard, as my mentors have always seen more in me than I saw at certain times and they challenged me to go for what they see. This continues to cause me a lot of internal conflict as they share their perspective at the right time which provokes me to reflect and “grow” outside my comfort. I remember when one of my mentors said “write a business plan and do not come back to see me until you do!” this was harsh to me, but was needed and was the right time.

These are a few things that I believe are good characteristics of a great mentor. There are many levels to this but it is important to find someone who you are going to “trust” to guide you to the next level within you.

Hope this helps and to find out more about my mentoring work, mentoring and other matters, visit my blog: http://everychildneedsamentor.com/blog/

Thank you for taking the time out to read my blog.

Herman